200 Ways to Bug Sasuke Uchiha
by XxShota-FujoshixX
Summary: I found a list of 200 ways to bug Sasuke and I thought I'd write a fanfic because I can! NOT UPDATING TIL I REACH 55 REVIEWS!
1. Chapter 1: Ways 1-5

**1.)** **Give all his fan-girls you can find invitations to a slumber party at his house. When they come running in screaming into his house, lock the doors. Then run like no tomorrow.**

'You are cordially invited to a slumber party at Sasuke Uchiha's house!' I ran into the Sasuke fan club meeting and dumped the invitations on the load of fangirls. It took about 0.5 of a second to have massive nosebleeds and start racing off towards Sasuke's house. Damn, fangirls are fast!

I barely reached his house before I could see the writhing mass of fans pushing their way down the street, "Quick, Sasuke! Lock the doors! Bar the windows! Get the survival gear and hide!" I screamed, running around, hysterically locking all the doors and windows.

Sasuke gave me a WTF look.

"FANGIRLS!"

The door was creaking under the weight of 9000 teens trying to claw their way into Sasuke's house and the sounds of squeeling didn't stop all night. From my hiding place under Sasuke's kitchen table, I finally decide that, "This was a really bad idea..."

** 2.) Find all the Sasu/Naru or Sasu/Saku pictures you can find, and hang them[With super glue, Stronger than him] on every wall in his house.**

I cautiously peeped around Sasuke's house, _'Oh... he's not home... he's out training I guess...' _I tapped my chin, "hmm... PLAN B COMMENCE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, "TO THE INTERWEB!"

**At some point later in the day~**

Sasuke walked in his front door and froze in his tracks, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?"

I momentarily ceased gluing of a Sasu/Naru picture to his wall, "I'm redecorating!" I said, trying to look cute- but I can't really do that so I probably just looked evil.

"TAKE THEM DOWN!"

"No!"

"NOW!"

"Nooooooo!" I started whining like a little kid, "if you think this is bad..." I rubbed the back of my neck, "you might not be ecstatic about your new bedroom design..."

**3.) Write him love letters constantly for the next 4 months, Then say at the end of the last letter you sent: " -Love, Itachi "**

Sasuke took the mail inside and saw one particularly pink flowery letter, for lack of anything better to do, he opened it and started reading...

_Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love._

Sasuke cocked his eyebrow and through the letter in the garbage, hiding the slight pink in his cheeks.

**A FEW DAYS LATER~**

Sasuke opened the door and found nobody, he was about to close the door again, when he saw another pink letter sitting neatly on his mat. Sasuke sighed and picked it up to read:

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb katana, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

He scrunched the letter up and threw it at the wall, "What the fuck was that?!" his face was undoubtedly red.

**Over the course of 4 months!**

_Last night i sent an angel to watch over you while you were sleeping. It came back early and i asked the angel, "why?" The angel replied, "Angels don't watch other angels."_

_It's funny how big of an impact you have on me. It's like when I see you, you don't even have to speak...all you have to do is look at me, and it can make my day, and then that's how I remember my reasons for loving you_

_If a star fell each time I thought about you then the moon would truly realize how loneliness is really like_

_It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces._

Sasuke continued to recieve strange letters like these and many more over the course of 4 months and the worst part was- he was looking forward to them (GASP).

Exactly 16 weeks later, another letter as sent to Sasuke. He snatched it up and ran upstairs to his bedroom, to hide under a blanket so nobody would see him reading this letter:

_I spent last night dreaming of your eyes_

_But your hair kept getting in the way_

_Your lips dropped in to tell me how you'd been_

_But when I tried to kiss them_

_ My pillow told me I missed them_

_Your voice dropped by and sang a lullaby_

_And it was then I knew just what to do_

_I'd fall asleep and then_

_I'd dream of you again..._

_Love Itachi 3_

And Sasuke fell over dead.

**4.) Everytime you see him, Squeal/glomp him and say: "Oh, Sasuke-kun~...I really enjoyed the time we had last night at your house."**

I ran up to Sasuke, he was in the middle of a conversation with Sakura... perfect setting! I thought, "SASUKE-KUN!" I cried and glomped him.

"What the- you again!?" he fumed.

I made myself giggle really high and girly- we'll pretend I can do that...- and said, "Oh, Sasuke-kun, I really enjoyed the time we had last night at your place..."

Sakura made a face and Sasuke's face immediately turned red.

"I hope we can do it again sometime!" I said happily and skipped away, hoping Sasuke wouldn't be following and killing me after this.

**5.) Destroy Sasuke's room, Then blame it on his fan-girls.**

Sasuke opened his bedroom door and saw that his room was completely totaled, "... What happened in here?!" he glared at me, who was causally sitting on the room floor.

"WHAAAAAT?" I said shocked, "you think it was me?! I'm so hurt that you would think that!" I crossed my arms and humphed.

"Of course I think it was you!" he shouted, "you're the one who keeps torturing me!"

I shook my head, "Nuh-uh! Not my fault!" I started eating Nutella, "blame the fangirls! They raided here while you were out, it _definitely_ was not me!"

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**What do you think? I got bored and found this list online so I'm making this fanfiction ^^ I don't own the "ways to annoy Sasuke" but I own the rest of the stuff... not the characters and I didn't write he sappy lovey dovey stuff either... -_- just read the rest of these...**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	2. Chapter 2: Ways 6-10

**6.) When Sasuke is training, Doing Kunai practice - Scream bloody murder every time he wants to hit the target.**

Sasuke was doing his Kunai practice, peacefully for once, and since I was bored I had tagged along promising that I'd "quietly watch and not bug him" (his words)... but we all know I would never actually do that! (Ha! Did he actually think I'd sit quietly!?)

I watched for a few minutes then just as he was about to try to hit the target, I screamed- like the best 'Horror Movie' scream I could muster.

He jumped and looked over at me.

I waved, as if nothing happened, and gave him a thumbs up.

Sasuke glared at me and returned to his practicing.

Then a few minutes later I got cheeky again and waited for him to go for the target; then, when he did, I screamed the most bloodcurdling, I'm-being-attacked-by-Jason-and-Freddie-at-the-sam e-time, kind of scream.

Once again, Sasuke stopped and turned around.

I cocked my head, pretending to be confused, "Are you going to actually _hit_ the freaking target anytime soon?"

He seethed and went back to training, trying to _not_ strangle me no doubt.

This was waaaaaaay to much fun! I watched and the very next time he tried to hit the target... I screamed like a little girl being killed by the Slenderman while having her kidneys eating by Eyeless Jack, and it was_ LOUD!_

Sasuke turned around and marched right up to me, "Would you fucking stop that!?"

I tried to look innocent, "Stop what?"

"The screaming!" He muttered.

I raised an eyebrow, "Screaming? What screaming?" I smiled and pat him on the head, "I think you're hearing things, Sasuke-kun!"

Then Itachi came over, "Uh... I heard a lot of yelling and screams of bloody murder..." he looked questioningly from me to Sasuke, "did something happen?"

DAMN IT, ITACHI!

**7.) Dye his hair pink.**

Perfect opportunity! Sasuke's asleep, I found his house key, and broke into his house (it's a long story, so I'm sorry but I can't knowledgeify you all on how to break into Sasuke's house)!

I sneaked upstairs to his bedroom, acting like a secret agent the whole time, and opened his door, yep sound asleep!

I slowly crept towards his bed, humming the Mission Impossible theme, and pulled out... A bottle of **_PINK_** hair dye (GASP!)

Reading the instructions on the bottle, I grabbed Sasuke and dragged him towards the washroom, _'Damn, he's heavy!'_

**The next morning~**

Sasuke got up out of bed and rubbed his eyes, looking around, "Hmm... bedroom looks normal and undestroyed..." he shrugged and walked into his bathroom to brush his teeth.

I sat in a tree branch just under his window sill, "5, 4, 3, 2..."

"NERO!" Sasuke screamed and flung the bathroom door open.

I almost fell out of the tree laughing.

"THIS BETTER NOT BE PERMANENT! IF IT IS YOU ARE_ SOOOOOO_ DEAD!"

**8.) Dye his hair blonde.**

Sasuke caught me at 11 pm, approximately, and demanded that I fix his hair, and I pointed out that it was late and he had training, so I'd unpinkify it later.

He growled and hissed, "It better not be pink for training tomorrow!"

I nodded, "I swear on my stack of yaoi, that when you get to training, you will no longer have pink hair!"

Sasuke glared at me, "Okay..." he said then went to bed... STUPID! I only said you wouldn't have pink hair! (Haha! He shouldn't let me find the loop holes!)

After stalking him through his window for an hour or two, or three, waiting for him to go to sleep, and watching him change (wow, I'm such a perv), I stealthily opened his window and army crawled over to his bed. Then I stood up slowly and menacingly like the killers in horror movies do, and pulled out a bottle of... _**BLOND**_ hair dye (GASP AGAIN!).

Once again, I had to carefully read the instruction on the bottle and drag Sasuke into the bathroom to dye his hair,_ 'Seriously, Sasuke! How do you weight this much!?'_

**The next next morning~**

Sasuke sat up, he'd woken up extra early so I could fix his hair, "Nero's not here yet? Funny, I'd have expected to be greeted by a stalker staring at me through my window when I woke up..." he sighed and got up to use the washroom.

I was sitting on top of his roof, I figured it'd be slightly safer from raging Sasukes up there, and raised my fingers, five fingers, four fingers, three fingers, two fing-

"YOU ARE SO DEAD RIGHT NOW, YOU ASSHOLE!" Sasuke yelled out his bedroom window, revealing his blonde hair to a passing Deidra, "I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL YOU! THEN I'LL RESURRECT YOU AND KILL YOU AGAIN!" he continued screaming threats at me.

I clung to the shingles for dear life, _'Hmm... my count was off...'_

**9.) When he is almost asleep, Sing 'I wanna take you to a gay bar', while transformed into Naruto.**

Sasuke was laying in bed, after spending 6 hours washing all the hair dye from his hair, _'That bastard will pay...'_ he yawned and rolled over.

When he was just barely awake, he heard a noise and rolled back over only to see Naruto... singing 'I wanna take you to a gay bar' and dancing a variety of unfitting dances in the middle of his bedroom.

Sasuke's jaw dropped, "WHAT THE-?!" he buried his face in his pillow, "GET THE HELL OUT!"

"You! I wanna take you to a gay bar, I wanna take you to a gay bar, I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!" The Naruto thing sang, dancing the caramelldansen, "Let's start a war, start a nuclear war, At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. Waah, At the gay bar."

Sasuke banged his face against the headboard repeatedly, _'I'm dreaming, it's all a dream, it's all a dream-'_ he seethed again, "I BLAME YOU, NERO!"

Naruto stopped dancing momentarily, "Yeah... you do that!"

**10.) Find out who his crush is, tell him she/he is at _ and hand him a rose to give him/her. Then send all his Fan-girls/Fan-boys to the same spot.**

"SAAAAAAASUUUUUUUUKEEEEEE!~" I screamed in a high-pitched and inhuman voice and glomped him.

Sasuke fell face first into the dirt, "What?!" he glared at me and pushed me off.

I sat like a puppy on the ground, I'm sure if I had a tail it would be wagging, "I know who you liiiiike~"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah, sure! Who then?"

I leaned over and whispered the name into his ear, making him turn red.

"H-how did you find that out?!" he said angrily.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes, "Almightly lord google, duh, Sasuke-kun!" I crossed my arms, "aaaaaaanyways," I said, becoming a happy-go-lucky supreme overlord of faining normality, "I know where you can find him~" I clapped, I think I had to much coffee this morning, and fan squealed.

Sasuke blinked, "And uh... where might this be exactly?" he said slowly.

I got up and whispered the location in his ear (yay whispering!).

His face turned bright red, "R-really?"

I nodded, "Yes!" I took a rose out of my backpack, "here, Sasuke, go! Go! Go!" I shouted pointing in the direction of the location.

Sasuke gave me a bit of a glare but walked off in that direction.

I waited into he was out of earshot then pulled out my cell phone and punched in the number, "Hi... yes, is this the President of the Sasuke Uchiha fanclub? Oh, yeah! Great!... Okay listen to this..."

**At the location~**

Sasuke was hiding behind a tree, trying to avoid the raging mass of fans that had started swarming him, _'Are you kidding me? Of course you did it again!'_ he growled, _'when I get my hands on Nero, there will be one less... what Nero is... on this planet!'_

* * *

**Soooo, how did you like Part 2? *rubs the back of my neck* I had fun writing it and... once again I don't own the list, only me doing them and...**

**I video taped it all ^^ I will make you all a deal, you get a copy for 1 Favorite? Yeah, I think that's fair (haha)**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	3. Chapter 3: Ways 11-15

**11.) Send all his fan-girls his email. Then tell Sasuke Itachi has something important to tell in his email. But he must read very carefully to find 'The Hidden Message'.**

_I have Sasuke Uchiha's email!_

_Sasuke_is_better_then_Itachi *AT* hotmail..com_

SEND!

Yes, my plan is unfolding nicely! Within a matter of minutes, fans from all over the globe will be emailing my lovely emo victim friend... now... how do I make sure he reads them all...

**5 Minutes Later~**

"SAAAAAAAAASUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEE-KUUUUUUUUUUUU UN!~" I shrieked in a creepy high pitched inhuman voice (no seriously) and shook his shoulders (I'm such a gentleman aren't I?).

Sasuke glared at me and detached my hands from his shoulders, "What is it this time?"

I stood at attention, "Itachi-san told me to tell you that he has something _very_ important to tell you through email, so be sure to read each email you receive with utmost attentiveness!" I informed, mimicking Itachi's voice a little, "also, which shade of bluelooks better on him, but I figure the emails are most important!" I waved and jumped out of an open window, "I'll leave you to work!"

Sasuke stared at the window for a few minutes, "Holy hell... I was..." he furrowed his eyebrows, "left to work- alone and in peace?!" he look shifty eyed around him, "I'm going to fall victim to some kind of trap now, right?"

**Another 5 Minutes Later~**

Sasuke checked his email.

Inbox- 734'899'236'173'826

His jaw dropped and he then banged his face against the desk, "Give me a break!"

**12.) Tell him Neji said it was destiny for Sasuke and Ino to be together forever.**

I ran up to Sasuke who was calmly sitting under a tree reading _Harry Potter_, "Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" I yelled the whole time.

He gave me an angry glare and put the book down, "What?!"

I got down on my knees and grasped his hands, squeeling like a fangirl when I spoke, "Neiji-san said it is DESTINY for you and Ino to be together!" meanwhile I was thinking, _'Nooooooo, SasuNaru FTW!'_

**13.) Ask, "Have you seen my boyfriend?" when he says 'No.' Say; "Really, I thought you were."**

I was following Sasuke- two feet behind him- through his house, looking around; under chairs and table and rocks.

He tried to ignore me, but it got difficult after I started looking through his pockets, "Nero, do you need something?"

I looked up, questioningly, "Have you seen my boyfriend?"

He blinked, silent for a minute, "You have a boyfriend..?"

"Yes..." I said simply.

Sasuke was quiet for another minute, "No, I have not seen your boyfriend..."

I stood up and leaned over him, "Really?! Huh, and here I thought _you_ were!" I said suddenly and gave him a hard look.

Sasuke backed up a little bit, "I don't recall that _ever_ happening... and I most certainly don't see it happening _anytime_ soon!"

I turned around. pretending to be mad, "Hmph! You can pretend all you want, but you can _never_ hide from the truth, Sasuke!"

**14.) Send him pictures of Itachi Naked.**

Sasuke was busy deleting the billions of emails that fans had sent him and over all just decided to delete his current email address and make a new one- one that a certain annoying weirdo couldn't find.

Suddenly, a message appeared in his inbox, so being- because everyone does this- he clicked it, the sender was someone he didn't recognize, he opened the email anyways... and bled all from his nose over his laptop.

The email contained one picture, a picture of Itachi getting out of the shower and only just noticing the photographer.

**After fixing his laptop~**

Sasuke went back on his email to find 3 more unread emails- all from different senders.

He cautiously opened the first email and deleted it 10 seconds later.

This picture was of Itachi drying of with a (manly I assure you all) pink towel, once again just noticing the one taking this picture a split second before it was taken.

Sasuke got mad and opened the next one.

same thing, Itachi changing, wearing nothing but his underwear, and yet again, he saw the stalker right before they took the photo, and this time he looked like he was getting annoyed.

He deleted this email to and glanced at the last one, even though he knew what it was, he couldn't suppress the curiosity of looking at it first.

In this picture, Itachi was angrily storming towards the camera, which was all shaky and a little blurry... the photographer was... running away from Itachi?

Sasuke sighed and deleted this photo too, he did give a small smirk though, "So that weirdo did get punched or something after? That's a little bit satisfying..."

Then I opened his bedroom door, unscathed, "Hey~ Sasuke!~" I shouted, "how's it going?"

He looked at me then back at the laptop and face desked, "Ugh!"

**15.) Send him pictures of Naruto naked.**

Sasuke kicked me out (well, he thought he did, but I was still sitting in his kitchen playing his food, but we'll get to that later) when his phone beeped, signalling that he'd gotten a text.

He picked up the phone and clicked on the text... immediately cursing loud enough to knock over my apple Eiffel Tower... the Apple Tower...

In the picture was (not Itachi) Naruto, who appeared at be taking a bubble bath... (cause that's very manly indeed!)

He threw he phone at the wall and hid behind a pillow for a few minutes before furiously snatching up his cell phone and deleting the photo.

A few minutes later the phone beeped again.

Sasuke knew that it would be another naked picture of someone, but he answered anyways... and saw a picture of Naruto climbing out of his bubble bath (bubbles guarding Naruto's lower regions) while apparently not noticing Nero taking the picture, "DAMN IT, NERO! STOP!"

I sat on the counter, moving on to the Statue of Liberty, which was made out of liver... the Statue of Liver-ty! (Okay, I'm done...). I laughed when he yelled.

Sasuke growled as another text came up and deleted it without looking at it then blocked the number.

Then another text came up from a different number; it said_ :( Sasuke-kun! I have more then one phone!~_

... Right above a picture of Naruto doing Caramelldansen in his boxers (it looked like it was of his own free will too.

Sasuke screamed and ran downstairs.

I hopped off his counter and began running for the front door, "Bye bye, Sasuke!" I screamed, sprinting down his walkway.

Sasuke glared at me from the doorway, _'Note to self: Do not touch technology... ever...'_

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**So, what do you guys think so far? FYI comments make me write faster~**

**Anyways, I had fun writing way #11 most of all, I hope I did a good job and I promise to update all my stuff soon~**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	4. Chapter 4: Ways 16-20

**16.) Tell him you know a way to find out what Kakashi's face looks like. When he says how, just say 'follow me'. When you get to Kakashi's house. Sneak in, and push Sasuke in his bathroom, While he was taking a shower.[No curtain]**

I stood behind Sasuke, staring intensely at the back of his head until he, finally, got sick of me and turned around.

"What is it now?" he sighed.

I opened my mouth, but he interrupted me.

"I don't want to know where my crush is," he stated.

I stuck out my tongue then opened my mouth again.

"And I don't want to hear about 'A great time we had last night'..." he rolled his eyes.

I crossed my arms, waited, then was about to speak when again he interrupted me...

"I haven't seen your boyfriend either..."

I hmphed.

"And I don't care if-"

"JUST SHUT THE HECK UP AND LET ME SPEAK, MINIATURE ITACHI!" I shouted at him, making him stop talking and glare at me, "you want to see Kakashi's face, don't you?"

Sasuke looked at me carefully, "I'll probably regret this but, how exactly?"

I gestured with my hand, "Follow me, Mini Ita!"

**5 Minutes (and however long it took to find my shoe) Later~**

I opened Kakashi's front door, "Come, Mini-"

"Stop it!" Sasuke snapped.

I faked a hurt look, "You don't need to yell at me!" I started stage crying (yeah, man, I'm an actor~).

He sighed, "Alright, alright, 'I'm sorry, Nero'..."

I hopped back up, smiling again, "Onward!" I cried marching up the stairs.

Sasuke followed behind me.

We finally reached the top, I motioned towards a door.

The miniature Ita- I mean Sasuke... he he yeah... followed behind me as I walked- read: sneaked over like a ninja- towards the door.

Once we were both there Sasuke started to ask, "Alright so how-"

I opened the door and shoved him in, "Good luck!" I cried and ran down the stairs, then out into the streets.

Sasuke turned to see Kakashi, showering... without a shower curtain... and he passed out.

**17.) While he's sleeping, Use a horn to wake him up and say "It's time for training. Kakashi said it's important so he'll be there early." When it's 4 in the morning, And no training for the day.**

I crept towards Sasuke's bed, it was 4 am, I was bored and had been up all night watching yaoi, what better to do?

I took out my horn and blew it in his ear, "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

Sasuke sat bolt upright, "Wh-what's wrong!?"

I thrust his clothing towards him, "It's training time, Sasuke-kun! Kakashi said it was suuuuuuuuuuper important so he's going to be there early! Go! Go! Go! You're late! You're! For this very important date!" I cried.

Sasuke, being drowsy, hopped out of bed, got changed- apparently not noticing that I was in the room... I have pictures- and ran downstairs.

I followed him all the while chanting, "Run, Sasuke, run!"

He ran out the front door and down the street.

I sat on the porch, "Hee hee... there isn't even training today~"

**18.) Sneak in his bathroom, Take pictures of him in the shower. Then sell them on eBay for a million dollars. Guaranteed, You'll make triple as much with 'Buy it Now'.**

I banged on Sasuke's door, but he wouldn't answer, so I let myself in using the key I found back in chapter 2 (some day, I will share the story of how I came across that key and broke into his house!) and walked up his stairs. I ventured towards his bathroom, just out of curiosity, and out my ear against the door, I heard the sound of running water.

_'Oh, he's showering..?'_ I thought, then, a genius idea hit me, I was low on funds, seeing as there was a manga sale the other day and I bought more then thirty mangas. I opened the bathroom door and waited with my camera, it wasn't much different from taking pictures of Naruto and Itachi, except I knew Sasuke would notice me almost immediately, so I had to get as many pictures as I could!

I waited until he stepped out, then snapped about fifteen pictures and fled the scene, Sasuke chased me, a towel around his waist, but he stopped once I ran outside.

I escaped with my prize and almost celebrated, then I remembered,_ 'Crap... Sasuke's going to murder me next time I go over... oh well... I'll just give him riceballs with bonita filling!'_ I thought and walked away to sell the pictures on eBay for $1'000'000.

**19.) Tie him up, Then mail him to Karin's house with a letter: "I love you, Ravish me."**

I waited in the bushes outside Sasuke's house. At some point Deidara asked me what I was doing, but I just told him, "There is important business I must attend to!"in a very serious tone over and over and over and over until he left me alone.

**After 20 minutes~**

Sasuke finally stepped outside of his house.

I glomped him, "SASUKE-KUN!" I grabbed a rusty spatula out of my bag and thwacked him in the head with it.

After I was positive he was knocked out... I hit him a few more time... and dragged him into the bushes.

I took a coil of rope out of my backpack and started tying him up- all the while humming Creature Feature's 'Bound and Gagged'. Once that was finished, I put the unconscious Sasuke in a box and demanded that Kisame carry said box to the post office for me.

**At Karin's House~**

Karin opened her front door, finding a large box sitting on her porch.

She took the box inside and opened it, finding an unconscious and tied up Sasuke contained inside with a note attached to his face reading: "I love you, ravish me~"

**20.) Do the same on 19, Just with Sakura/Ino.**

Sasuke glared out his bedroom window all day, having recently escaped from Karin and tried to hunt me down, he was very... angry... SHOCKING!

He finally had to get up, because he really had to use the washroom.

When Sasuke opened his bedroom door, he found everyone's favorite stalker/weirdo~ you've got three guesses! ("psh! YOu guys don't need three!")... No, it's not Orochimaru... nor is it Muraki... SIGH No, it's not Grell Sutcliff either! ("Come on guys it's not a hard question!")... NO, IT'S NOT SAI EITHER, YOU GUYS! IT'S ME! ("I'm hurt! I'm very hurt!" I then go into my emo corner)...

I, once again, thwacked him upside the head with my trusted rusty spatula and tied him up.

This time I was too lazy to mail him all the way to Ino's house, so I just dragged Sasuke by his feet, because he is actually heavy, to her house.

I knocked on the door a few, hundred, times, dropped Sasuke- with the note nicely tucked into his shirt- and ran like a bat out of hell!

* * *

**Hey, guys~ I'm going away for a few days so don't be angry if stuff gets delayed ^^**

**Thanks for the revies, faves, and follows guys~**

**(A/N. I've got copies of those photos~ It'll cost 1 follow... those who already followed get HD copies~)**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	5. Chapter 5: Ways 21-25

**21.) If you see Sasuke hiding from fan-girls, tell him you'll help hide him. Then, lead him right to them.**

I was honestly just walking down the street, deciding to give Sasuke a break (cuz I'm nice!~... no not really), when, who do I stumble upon? (you guys better know this! This had better not turn into chapter 4 all over again!)... yes... it is Sasuke... (so you guys just hate _me_ then? T-T).

I see Sasuke hiding underneath the bridge so, logically, I walk to him, "Hiya, Sasu-kun!~" I greeted.

His head snaps around and he covers my mouth, "Shut up, I'm trying toi hide from... them..." he hissed and pointed to a squeeling mass of teen girls wearing 'I *heart* Sasuke Uchiha~' T-Shirts.

"Oh, it's the Sasuke fan club..." I observed, my words were a little bit garbled, 'cause, you know, Sasuke had his hand over my mouth.

"Don't care who they are!" Sasuke hissed again, "go away I'm hiding!"

I thought,_ 'Hiding from fangirls, are ya, Sasuke..?_ Hmm...' I waved my hand in the air wildly, whispering, "I have an idea! I have an idea! I have an idea!"

"SHH!" Sasuke glared at me, "What..?"

I grabbed his wrist, "Come! Nero will show Sasuke good place to hide from crazy fangirls!~" I announced and began dragging him off.

Sasuke sighed, "Am I going to regret this..?"

I sniffed, "I'm wounded, Sasuke..! You don't trust me!" I burst into stage tears (again! Oh I'm good, two chapters with stage crying~).

He grumbled and let me lead him away from the bridge.

I stopped crying and happily lead him away. I took him back into the woods and lingered by the edge of the treeline.

Sasuke looked around, "Is it actually safe from fangirls back here..?"

I grabbed his hand and ran out of the woods, right into the middle of the fangirls, "FREE SASUKE!" I shrieked like a banshee, dropped Sasuke on to ground, and ran like a bat out of hell back into the woods.

**22.) Write on his face while he's asleep.**

I sneaked through Sasuke's upstairs hall (like a ninja you guessed!) and opened his bedroom door, cautiously (some day, my friends! _SOME DAY_ I will tell you how I got Sasuke's house key!).

I peeked inside, as expected, the crazy fangirls had tired him out so he was sound asleep- it was only 10:30 too!

Using my amazing skill, I secret agent rolled all the way to his bed the stood over him and pulled out... A**_ PERMANENT_** MARK! (GASP! Oi, I haven't GASPed in 2 chapters! ^^)

I slowly and dramatically lowered the marker towards his face, super badass action music was playing in the background the whole time, and then Sasuke rolled over. I squeaked, then realized that the little Uchiha had not awoken, "And Nero just barely escaped certain death!" I narrated to... myself I guess... and resumed the epic lowering of the _**SHARPIE**_ (free subliminal message~) marker.

The next morning~

Sasuke climbed out of bed when he heard the sound of someone knocking on his front door. He walked downstairs, yawning, and opened the front door.

Naruto stood at the door, he looked as if he was about to say something important, but he stopped, "Uh... Sasuke?"

"What?"

"You've... got something on your face..." Naruto said, slowly.

Sasuke looked confused, then ran back to his bathroom to check.

I was chilling under Deidara's porch, when I heard Sasuke yell out my name.

"NEEEEEROOOO, YOU ASS!"

I looked up, "Oh, Sasuke doesn't like it..."

**23.) Take all the gel he uses for his hair. Then sell it to all his fan-girls.(Any price, They'll do anything)**

I walked into Sasuke's house, I was going to ask him to make me food, but he wasn't home.

Out if boredom, I started going through his medicine cabinet (I have a bad habit of doing that...) and found some hair gel, "Property of Sasuke Uchiha..." I read the label out loud, "super strong cosplay hair gel..." I gasped, "SASUKE USES COSPLAAAAAAAAAAAY HAIR GEL!"

I kept digging through the cabinet and with in the hour, I found 37 and a half full bottles of hair gel and 28 used ones, "Hmm..." IDEA! "I'M BROKE AGAIN! I CAN... I CAN SELL SASUKE'S HAIR GEL!" I announced to nobody.

I ran all the way to the meeting of the Sasuke Uchiha fanclub and burst through the doors, "I'VE GOT BOTTLES OF COSPLAY HAIR GEL BOUGHT BY SASUKE UCHIHA! $300'000 EACH!" I shrieked in my common inhuman voice.

**0.5 Seconds Later~**

I was down to three bottles, "AND NOW..." I held up the used bottles, "BOTTLED OF COSPLAY HAIR GEL USED BY SASUKE UCHIHA! WITH HIS HANDS AND EVERYTHING!" I announced (to someone this time ^^), "ONLY $500'000!"

**24.) Paint his room pink.**

Sasuke got home and went upstairs to the bathroom, when he opened the door, he found his medicine cabinet had been ransacked and his hair gel was gone so - because I was a dumbass and told him about my issue when I got drunk this one time- he knew he had nobody to blame but... Nero (YAY! IT'S ME~).

He heard me talking to myself, a little bit muffled, from his bedroom, Sasuke stormed out of the bathroom and down the hall to his room. He pushed the door open, "Nero, what the hell did yo-" he froze.

I sat in the middle of his_** PINK** _bedroom, holding a paint brush covered in**_ PINK_** paint, with_** PINK**_ splotches all over my black clothes (did I mention **_PINK_**?), "Hi, Sasu-kun~" I said in a singsong voice.

Sasuke looked around, "WHY THE HELL IS MY ROOM PINK!?" (okay, good I did mention pink~).

I smiled, "I was redecorating for you~"

He glared at me, "You foolish bastard..!" he advanced on me, "I'm sooooooo going to kill you!"

"Ha ha, nope, Sasu-chan~"

**25.) Steal his cloths, Then replace them with Lee's.**

I had a large garbage bag slung over my shoulder as I walked down the hall towards Sasuke's bedroom, I didn't have to break in this time, because I was spending the night at Sasuke's house- believe me, it took A LOT of convincing.

I rushed towards his closet and began taking all his clothes out, "Perfect..." I finished my task, sold his clothes to the fangirls, and quietly sneaked back to the couch.

**In The Morning~**

Sasuke woke up, checked his face, and quickly ran to the living room to see if I was still there- and make sure the house wasn't in shambles- he saw me "sleeping" soundly on his couch and breathed a relieved sigh.

Sasuke went back to his room and opened his closet... finding only Lee's clothes. He tore all the clothes out and discovered that every single piece of clothing belonged to Lee, "How the-" he cut himself off and stormed back to where I was "sleeping". Sasuke grabbed my arm and shook me, "Where are my clothes!?" he demanded.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes, cue acting lessons, "What..?" I stretched and looked at him weirdly, "in your closet, numbskull..."

He got angry, "No, those are Lee's clothes, where are mine!?"

I shrugged and pushed him away, "Like hell I know!" I announced again and walked into his kitchen to make myself breakfast.

* * *

**So, I'm using my dad's computer, I won't update much because my other PC is broken so this is special, 'kay?**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	6. Chapter 6: Ways 26-30

**26.) Build an Itachi shrine in his room. The bigger and more difficult to destroy it is, the better.**

Sasuke opened his bedroom door and- what the hell?!- in the corner of his room, was a gigantic Itachi statue.

All around the base of said statue, were pictures of Itachi, Itachi plushies, and- not even kidding- Itachi's underwear. The top of it reached up to his ceiling.

Sasuke pulled his katana out and slashed repeatedly at the large shrine, but it barely left a scratch. Next, he tried ninjitsu, no luck.

He fumed and threw open his window, "Nero, get over here right now!" he bellowed (he he, 'bellowed' I think it's a funny word~).

His bedroom door swung open, "You called, Emo-King?" I swooped into a deep bow and said in a British accent.

Sasuke spun around, "Wha- have you been in my house this whole time?!"

"But of course!~"

He groaned, "Get _that thing_ out of my room!" he pointed to the Itachi shrine.

I crossed my arms and tapped my chin, looking at the shrine, "Hmm... NOPE! Looks big and heavy and... big and unmovable and... big and big and... big..." I observed, "yeah, it's way to big for me to move..."

Sasuke took a kunai out of his pocket and threw it at my face, "GET THE FUCKING STATUE OUT OF MY ROOM!"

I slow-mo dodged the kunai, "THE EMO-KING IS ANGRY!" I shrieked and ran out of his bedroom.

**27.) Put glitter in his shampoo.**

Sasuke had been training all day, so logically, he would be sweaty and want to take a shower when he got home. So because I was bored- woah! Me? Bored? That never happens! Yes it does...- and done trying to look for his "Itachi" Love letters (chapter 1), I decided to have a little bit of fun~

I ran to his bathroom and located his shampoo, then pulled out a jar of _**PINK**_ glitter and dumped the contense into it.

**When Sasuke Got Back From Training~**

Sasuke opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. He was hot (that is a true statement~) and sweaty, so he stripped down (damn, I didn't have my camera! I could have sold those to the fanclub!) and stepped into his shower.

He washed his hair first and then proceeded with normal shower-y activities- if anyone really needs me to go into detail to know what those things are, they probably should go take a shower before they forget how. Sasuke didn't notice until he turned off the flow of water that there was a little bit of glitter on the floor of his shower. He was slightly weirded out, but he didn't pay it too much mind to it.

Sasuke stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He took another towel and started drying his hair, when he pulled the towel away, he saw that it was coated in glitter. His face turned red and he ran to the mirror, wiping the condensation off. His reflection showed that his hair was covered in _**PINK**_ glitter, "... GOD DAMN IT WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY HAIR!?"

**28.) Show him all the fan art of him and Naruto as a couple.**

I was laying down on Sasuke's couch, surfing the internet in utter boredom, when I happened to find new SasuNaru submissions on DeviantArt. I- being a fan of the pairing- excitedly started looking through them.

Sasuke entered the room, rubbing his eyes, and then turned to me, "What the hell are you doing here?!" he demanded.

_'Oh yeah, it's five o'clock in the morning and I'm supposed to be with Naruto...'_ I thought, "Hmm..." I tackled Sasuke down and dragged him towards the computer.

"Hey! No, stop it!" Sasuke shouted.

I sat him down in front of the computer and started cycling through _all_ the SasuNaru submissions-and then same NaruSasu too~ "Sasuke-kun, look at these!~"

Sasuke glared at me, "Stop it, Nero!"

"Uh... No!"

**29.) Take a photo of him in a dress and post it on the internet.**

I was hiding in Sasuke's closet, waiting... for a really long time while he did his hair... no seriously, it took for-freaking-ever!

Once Sasuke finally came out of his washroom, I jumped out of the closet, "Sasu-kun!" I screamed like a banshee and tackled him- I like tackling!- to the floor.

Sasuke growled, "Get the hell off of me!"

I shook my head, "Nope!" I said and started undressing him.

He kicked his legs and hit me in the back, "Fucking pervert..."

I frowned, "I'm not a perv!"

Yeah, forcibly stripping Sasuke Uchiha isn't pervy at all! (All those he dare to disagree will be brutally maimed with a rusty spatula and possibly a slinky as well)

I forced a _**PINK** _(I will never get tired of that!) frilly dress onto Sasuke, "You take that back, jerkface!"

"No!"

I climbed off him once I'd gotten said dress on, "Sasuke-kun, you look fabulous!" I was- secretly- armed with a rusty spatula just in case Sasuke tried to murder me.

Sasuke got to his feet and chucked a kunai at my face, "Go to hell!" he shouted.

I shrieked and jumped out of the way of the kunai, "But I don't want to!" I argued, "Hell's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to hot for my tastes, bye!" I shouted and hopped out of the window- which was conveniently open.

Sasuke leaned out the window to check if I was gone.

_Click._

He turned around and saw me, laughing my head off... and holding a digital camera.

"I can't believe you fell for my doopleganger!" I howled with laughter.

_Shink!_

A kunai embedded itself in my head, "Meanie!" I shrieked and fled the room.

**30.) Sticky tape an "I love Naruto" sign on his back.**

I was sitting on top of some person's roof, acting like a boss, when Sasuke wandered by.

Since I was so incredibly bored, I pulled out a piece of paper and a sharpie, "Hmm..." I started writing.

Sasuke leaned against the side of the building- really quite boss like- and was eating something yummy looking.

I picked up my sign and hopped off the roof, "SAAAASUUUUKEEE!" I shouted and landed on his back, making him drop his yummy thing.

Sasuke glared at me.

I stepped off his back, "Sorry, Sasuke!" I acted as if I was very, very sorry.

Sasuke eyed me suspiciously.

"I hope you're okay!" I pat his back and started walking away.

Sasuke was really confused, but he just shrugged and walked away in the opposite direction.

As I walked, I glanced over my shoulder and grinned.

On Sasuke's back, written in big sparkly letters, was a sign reading 'I LOVE NARUTO!'

* * *

**It would appear that my computer is fixed! YAY! **

**Did everybody miss me? No? Anyone? T^T**

**Anyways, thanks to everyone who's been reading so far, YOU GUYS ROCK!**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	7. Chapter 7: Ways 31-35

**31.) Smash a pie in his face and run like hell while screaming: "The Emo-King has arrived!"**

I was just casually walking around in the woods... with a pie... (don't judge I like pie!)... when, I happened to see Sasuke- all emo looking and fabulous- practicing his kunai.

Because I was bored- I know everyone's shocked- I decided that I'd go bug him.

Sasuke didn't notice me until I was standing right behind him (aren't I ninja-like!), "What do you want?!" he demanded.

I blinked, looking at him, then the pie, then everyone else who was in the training in this area, then back to the pie, "Hmm..." I looked at him, seriously (holy shit am I capable of that?!), "HMM..."

Sasuke gave me a weird look, "Um..."

I shrugged, raised the pie- which was blueberry by the way- and smashed it in his face, "THE EMO-KING HAS ARRIVED!" I screamed, running out of the training area like a bat out of hell.

Sasuke wiped pie out of his face, "What the hell- NERO!" he growled and started chasing after me, "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

And lots of people stared at us weirdly.

**32.) When he's sleeping, cover him with a blanky and give him a toy. Then take pictures and make copies for everyone.**

Sasuke was sleeping... in his bed... in his room... and he still hadn't realized I had the key to his house (I SWEAR! SOME DAY, MY FOLLOWERS! SOME DAY!).

I sat on his base board, watching him like a creeper, "Sasuke-kun?" I whispered, "are you sleeping..?"

No response.

I got up and poked him.

Still no response.

I opened my backpack and pulled out... a **_PINK_** (I'm sorry, I probably won't ever stop doing that) fuzzy baby blanket and a small stuffed kitty-panda-really cute stuffed thing. I poked him again, just to be sure.

After deciding it was safe- and a few more pokes- I lay the blanky over Sasuke and gingerly placed the kitty-panda thing in his hand... then waited a few minutes to make sure he wasn't going to wake up and hit me.

I then pulled out my digital camera and took a few quick pictures before escaping out of the window- I like jumping out of windows...

**In the Morning~**

I walked around, handing some "unknown" pictures out to anyone I came across.

"Hey, Nero!"

I jumped out of my skin and spun around, "HISASUKEIDIDN'TSEEYOUTHERE!" I hid the pictures behind my back.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, obviously not getting any of what I said, then went back to looking annoyed, "Was it you who put a pink blanket and panda bear thing on me last night?!" he demanded.

"Uh... maybe..." I coughed out quickly.

Sasuke glared at me, "What are you hiding behind your back?"

I blinked, "Uh..." I turned around and started running like hell, "See you, Emo-King!"

**33.) Take Shino's bugs, Then put them all over his bed/house.**

Sasuke was out training, I was sitting on his roof, other people were doing other stuff, and far away the Sasuke Uchiha was having a meeting. I lifted up a small Glad® Tupperware container, it was filled with Shino's bugs- long story as to how I obtained those- I tossed them up in the air and caught them, "Hmm..." I was pretty much dying of boredom and trying to think of anything even a little bit entertaining to do.

I tossed the container in the air again and as it landed in my hand, I had an idea. I climbed to my feet and jumped off the roof, accidentally landing on a passing Sakura.

"Opps, sorry!" I said, walking off her- stepping on her face in the process- and ran into Sasuke's house. I ran up stairs to his bedroom.

I ripped off the lid of the Glad® (subliminal messaging~) container and dumped all the bugs over Sasuke's bed then ran like hell even though I knew he wasn't going to be back for another hour or two.

**An Hour or Two Later~**

Sasuke opened his front door and looked around, "Nero didn't destroy my house and it doesn't appear as though I've been publicly humiliated..." he sighed and walked towards his bedroom.

I was sitting on his roof again, "Geez, Sasuke, you're taking forever!" I checked my watch, "Hmm..."

"NERO, WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Huh?" I examined my watch again, "oh, I see! My watch is a bit off..."

**34.) Take a picture of him. Then edit into something embarrassing. When your finished, Post it to everyone that knows him online/print it for them to keep.**

I followed Sasuke around all day, "C'mon! Just one picture! Please, Sasu-kun?" I pleaded.

Sasuke finally got sick of me, "Alright, alright, ALRIGHT!" he spun around, "take a damn picture!" he said impatiently.

"Yay!" I spent twenty minutes pretending to fix a bunch of settings then finally snapped a picture and ran off.

**At Sasuke's House~**

I pulled out my laptop and opened Photoshop, "Alright, let's begin!" I said in a random accent and uploaded the picture I'd taken of Sasuke into my files. I started editing randomly for at least three hours- or maybe it was twenty minutes... I don't know I wasn't looking at the time- until the finished product made Sasuke look incredibly drunk and like he'd peed his pants (Nero's got the flu and couldn't think of anything better).

I saved and started printing it out.

**45 Minutes Later~**

Sasuke opened the front door, on his way home he'd received quite a few weird looks from people, but had brushed them aside.

He opened his fridge to start making food, when he saw- taped to the back of the refrigerator- the picture that I'd edited with big bold letters underneath reading:

**SMILE FOR THE CAMERA, SASUKE~**

Click.

He turned around and saw my holding my camera up and taking pictures, "You idiot..."

**35.) Tell him Naruto wants a second chance at their kiss.**

The Emo-King was talking with Sakura outside of her house.

I spied on them with a pair of obnoxiously huge _**PINK** _binoculars, "Hmm..." I tossed said binoculars over my shoulder- hitting some dude in the face- and casually walked up to Sasuke (didn't expect that did ya!? You thought I was going to tackle him again!).

Sasuke saw me coming, "What now?" he asked annoyed.

"Nothing much," I shrugged, "I was just talking with Naruto and he said that he'd like another chance at your kiss..." I said, normally.

Sasuke gave me a weird look, didn't say anything, and walked away.

* * *

**I updated fast 'cause I am actually sick and have nothing else to do.**

**Thanks for reading people, everyone who has been supporting so far gets a_ PINK_ cookie~**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	8. Chapter 8: Ways 36-40

**36.) Edit the picture of Sasuke and Naruto kissing, to make it look like they enjoy it. Then post them all around Konoha.**

I was sitting on my ass for three freaking hours (because I'm not Jamie so I suck at Photoshop-ing) on my computer, huddled up in my bedroom- hey I'm not in Sasuke's house for once- using Photoshop.

"Ugh..." I banged my face against the wall once I finally finished, "I didn't known I was capable of this..." I looked back at my computer screen, "... well, I did it for yaoi... and my followers... yeah you all better love me!" I commanded, "ugh, those brats make me write these things constantly and..."- actually it's my fault, 'cause I'm overly addicted to getting reviews- I mumbled and fell asleep on the keyboard.

**4 Hours Later~**

I sat up, "Okay, I'm better now, we'll just print this sucker out and- WHERE THE HELL DID THE FILE GO?!" I spent a half hour tearing my computer apart, looking endlessly for the picture... until it became apparent. I hadn't saved it and had somehow deleted it when I fell asleep on the freaking keyboard.

"... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

New idea, Ways to Annoy Nero! Way 1: Delete pictures he spent hours working on~ Haha- do it and you die!

**... After 3 More Hours Consisting of Editing and Contemplating How Much I Really Loved My Followers (apparently enough to do this)~**

I printed out the picture, "Okay, done!" I held it up, "yes, Sasuke and Naruto~" I laughed happily and collected my stack- and a stapler- and headed out the door (I used a door for once~)

**Some Time Later~**

Sasuke opened his front door and made his way out into the street.

He looked around, a few people were shooting him strange looks, _'Uh...'_ he kept walking.

Sasuke turned a corner and saw a picture stapled- using way too many staples- to the side of a building. He ripped it off, _'Why the hell is a picture of Naruto and I kissing stapled to this wall?!'_ he looked over and saw 8 more stapled to various walls, "and why does it look like I'm _enjoyin_g it?!" he glared at the picture, "NERO!"

**37.) Bug him for hours about him having a Duck's ass for hair.**

"Really, Sasuke, your hair!" I ranted, following a foot behind Sasuke, "Come on!"

**1 Hour Later~**

"I mean SERIOUSLY it looks like you've got a duck's ASS in place of hair!" I sat in Sasuke's shopping cart holding groceries, "why waste so much hair gel?!"

Sasuke took a bag of tomatoes and dropped it on me.

**2 Hours Later~**

"... do you really like that style? Come on, Sasuke, we all know that hair style looks like a ducky's ass~" I shouted, standing outside of Sasuke's bathroom while he took a shower.

**3 Hours Later~**

I sat on the edge of Sasuke's bed while he was changing, "Saaaaasuuuuukeeeee! Your freaking hair! You have admit your hair looks like a ducks ass!"

Sasuke pulled his shirt on and opened the window, "Nero..."

I stopped ranting and looked up, "Yes, my lord?"

Sasuke pulled a volume of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi out of his pocket and threw it out the window.

"MY YAOI!" I shrieked and dived after it.

Sasuke locked the window, "At last..." he turned.

**YOUR HAIR STILL LOOKS LIKE A DUCK'S ASS!**

Was written in big letters on the wall.

**38.) Tell him Gaara wants to rumble again.**

I banged on Sasuke's door over and over and over and over and over and-

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Sasuke threw open the door and glared at me.

I looked all flushed and started panting, "Emo-King! I have urgent news to deliver!" I said in an odd British accent.

"Huh?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "news?"

I took a breath, "Yes URGENT MATTER-OF-LIFE-AND-DEATH NEWS!" I exclaimed dramatically.

Sasuke leaned against the door frame, "Okay, what news?"

I clung to his clothes, "Emo-King, Gaara of the Sand... WISHES TO RUMBLE AGAIN!" I cried loudly and ran away.

**39.) Tell him Itachi's the one for cursing him with fan-girls.**

I surfed randomly, "Uh..." it seemed as though the whole entire inter-web decided to be boring because I was bored- damn you inter-web!

Sasuke opened the door right then and saw me sitting at his kitchen table, "Nero, how the hell did you get that huge office chair into my kitchen..?" he asked, only half wanting to know the answer.

I looked down, _'Oh, yeah, the chair...'_ I looked back at the computer then over at Sasuke, "Hmm..." I spun the chair around like the super villains in old cartoons, "Mister Uchiha!" I said loudly and suddenly, making a mental note that I didn't like the way 'Mister Uchiha' sounded.

Sasuke gave me a weird look, "Um-"

"Through extensive research," I interrupted, "I have made a remarkable discovery!" I announced.

Sasuke bit his lip and sighed, "What?"

I folded my hands in my lap- again, like a super villain- "I, Nero, have deduced... THE CAUSE OF YOUR FANGIRLS!" I decided I could try to say I'd deduced worse and that this would probably be the easiest to pull off.

"...Huh?" Sasuke asked.

"INDEED, IT IS ALL CAUSE BY ONE PERSON!" I jumped up on the chair and went into a long rant about how this one person cursed him with fangirls and how it involved very powerful ninjitsu, a sharigan, and at least three llamas!- I was just improvising people.

"Okay, okay," Sasuke stopped me right before I could describe the exact size of each llama, "so who exactly cursed me with fangirls..?"

"It was..." I paused to be dramatic, "ITACHI!" then my chair fell over.

**40.) Force him to read fan-fictions of Sasu/Naru - Sasu/Saku - and Sasu/Kaka.**

I pounced on Sasuke, "SAAAAAAAAAASUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEE!" I screamed and tackled him to the floor.

Sasuke sighed, "I don't even care anymore, what do you want?"

I pouted and shook his shoulders, "it's not as much fuuuuuun of you don't struggle!"

Sasuke didn't move.

"Fine!" I got off him and dragged him towards the huge office chair, "be boring then!" I tied him up.

Sasuke gave me a look, "Tackling I'll deal with, but why the hell are you tying me up?!" he demanded.

I sat him the chair and opened up a ton of fanfictions, "Sasuke, you're going to appreciate the lifeless-" don't take offence, I openly admit to having no life "- fans who spend their days writing fluff and smut with you and Naruto! And you and Sakura and even you and Kakashi~"

Sasuke made a face, "WHAT?!"

And he read them all~

* * *

**Sooooo, I really honestly do update 'cause I love reading reviews- if you wanna make Nero-kun happy, REVIEW HIS STUFF- thanks everyone who reads this. I LOVE YOU! YOU GET COOKIES AND STRAWBERRIES AND YOU CAN PET MY MORTALS (don't ask)!**

**What do you think? I managed to do one whole entire chapter with out going PINK? I personally hated it and want to do more PINKing!**

**THANKS GUYS YOU'RE AWESOME!**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	9. Chapter 9: Way 41-45

**41.) Force him to read fan-fictions of Ita/Sasu.**

I, the amazing fujoshi **_NERO_** (okay, I swear I won't do that again!), was sitting in Sasuke's closet, reading fanfictions on (WOAH! That's the site we're all on now! How coincidental!) and eating Pocky. My eyes were glued to the screen, "Oh yes, this author is a genius!" I praised to nobody in particular.

Suddenly, the closet door opened and a half naked Sasuke glared at me as I fell to the floor (and I regretted not having my camera on me again), "Nero, what the hell are you doing in my closet..?"

I looked from him to the laptop, "SASUKE!" I jumped up and tackled him to the floor, "THERE'S A NEW CHAPTER OF THIS FANFICTION OUT!" I dragged him over to the desk chair- which was still in his kitchen- and tied him to the seat, all the while really hoping he wouldn't try to use a chidori. I tied him to the chair and put the laptop in front of him, "you remember all those SasuNaru, KakaSasu, and SasuSaku fanfictions riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?"

"How could I forget?" he said through clenched teeth.

"Well, YOU DIDN'T SEE ALL THE ITASASU FANFICTIONS YET!" I started opening all of the ones I'd read, "STUDY HARD YOUNG EMO-KING! I SHALL BE TESTING YOU ON THIS LATER!"

**42.) Force him to read fan-fictions of Sasu/Lee.**

Sasuke was eating yummy stuff at his kitchen table, I was outside his window with my iPod blaring "Dne Eht" into my ears, and somewhere far away people were waiting to kill me for taking so long to update.

I climbed through the window, humming the mission impossible theme, and pounced on Sasuke, "HEY, SASUKE-KUN!" I cried.

Sasuke turned on me and stabbed my head with a kunai.

I fell on the floor, "Ow..." I pulled out the kunai and made a face, "meanie!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at me, "What do you want now?" he sighed.

I grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the laptop, "I must show you something!"

Sasuke kicked me, "No!" he said, bluntly, and returned to his yummy stuff.

I sniffed and started stage crying (I haven't done that in so long!), "Wah! Sasu-kun is so mean! Nero-kun just wanted to show him something and Sasuke kicked him!" I weeped (when I say 'weeped' everyone knows I'm not serious- prob'ly 'cause it isn't a word...).

Sasuke ignored me.

I stopped crying, "You were nicer in previous chapters!"

"Chapters?"

"Uh- NOTHING!" I cried and threw a blanket over him.

"Nero..!" Sasuke groaned in annoyance as he pulled the blanket off.

I ran like a bat out of hell until I was back home then collapsed onto my couch, "Wah! I failed! One way I will never be able to do!" I weeped (except seriously) and flopped onto the floor.

**Meanwhile with Sasuke~**

Sasuke finished eating his yummy something nd went upstairs. He opened his laptop and found 800'000'000 SasuLee fanfictions open, _'What the hell?!'_ he read one line and started nosebleeding, _'its... its like a bad accident... I can't stop reading..!'_ and then he passed out from blood loss.

**43.) Bleach his boxers, Pink.**

I was going through Sasuke's closet, why? Well, two reasons... ONE! He was at training. TWO! I'm me, what do you expect?

I was humming 'Circus Monster' and opened a drawer, "GASP!" I proclaimed loudly and fell back onto my ass, "Sasuke's underwear drawer!" I rifled through his drawer a little then had an idea.

I grabbed all of his underwear and ran into the bathroom and filled the tub up with water and _**PINK**_ (oh, how I've missed you, my beloved _**PINK**_) dye. I dropped all of the boxers in, cackling like a witch (I think we all already knew I was _slightly_ crazy) the whole time.

**When Sasuke got back from training~**

Sasuke opened his bedroom door, "... Nero!" he cried.

"Yes, sir, _**NERO**_at your service!" (I lied) I burst through the door and saluted.

Sasuke pointed to the **_PINK_** boxers littered around his room, "Pick these up!"

"No, I don't do underwear, Emo-king!" I announced and turned to leave.

"NERO!" Sasuke seethed, "why are my boxers pink?!"

I turned around, "No, no, Sasuke, not 'pink' but, _**PINK**_!"

**44.) Tell him Sakura's hiding in his closet. When he goes to see, and get her out. Push him in, and lock the door. Then get a chair, popcorn, and a tape-recorder. While listening/recording to what might happen next.**

Sasuke was in his living room, reading when I jumped down the stairs and loudly announced, "SASUKE-KUN! SAKURA'S IN YOUR CLOSET!"

Sasuke gave a weird look, "What?"

I pointed up the stairs, "Sakura-san! She's in your closet!"

Sasuke got up and started walking towards his room, "why is Sakura in my closet?" he asked.

I shurgged, "I dunno..."

He opened his bedroom door and walked inside, "Sakura, out of my closet!" he ordered.

No response.

"Sakura!"

Still no response.

Sasuke opened the door, "Saku-"

I shoved him in from behind and slammed the door.

"Wha- Nero?!" Sasuke pounded on the door, "open up!"

I locked said door and ran to the other room to grab my lawn chair and popcorn, I came back and sat down, "Nope, sorry, Sasuke~" I said and pulled out my _**PINK**_ video camera.

**45.) Paint his nails green when he's sleeping.**

I sat in Sasuke's window, watching him, _'Hmm... the Miniture Itachi has fallen asleep?!'_ I opened the window (I didn't use the stolen key this time~) and crept to his bed, then pulled out a bottle of... _**PINK**_-, "No, No, _green_, not _**PINK**_, _**GREEN**_!" I corrected myself- _**GREEN**_ nail polish.

I started painting his nails.

"Nnn... Nero, what are you doing?" mumbled a half asleep Sasuke.

"WAH! EMO-KING!? YOU WERE AWAKE? YOU SLEPT THROUGH ME DYING YOUR HAIR BUT YOU WAKE UP WHEN I PAINT YOUR NAILS?! WHAT THE HELL?!" I cried in one breath.

Sasuke gave me a weird look then rolled over and fell back asleep.

"..." I jumped out of the window and ran away.

* * *

**HIYA, FOLLOWERS~ I'm sorry for taking so long to update, it involved my pc crashing, going to a place without internet, being sick, and having writers block... but never fear! My waterfall headband and Itachi keychain have inspired me (sorta) and I'm now back with this chapter~ I missed you all!**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	10. Chapter 10: 46-50

**46.) Use a Nin-jutsu on him to pretend he's having 'You-Know-What' in his dream with Karin.**

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!" I yelled, "I-uh- NO!" I threw the list half way across the room and hid under my blanket, "no, no, no, no, no!" I weeped (see, not serious), "how do I do that? I don't wanna!"

My little/not so little sister Hex opened my door, "The fuck are you screaming about, Nero?"

I pointed to the list laying in the middle of the floor, "It's horrible! How can I do that?!"

Hex picked it up, "Which one..?" she asked.

"NUMBER 46!" I screamed, "I CAN'T DO IT!"

Hex read it, "Hmm..." she shrugged, "you're the one who decided to mess with the Uchiha..."

"Hex, you do it!"

"No..."

"Please?"

"No."

I threw a book at her, got tackled, and spent the night whining and eating ice cream.

**In the Morning~**

I dragged myself to Sasuke's place and flopped onto his couch.

"Nero?" Sasuke approached, katana in hand.

"Leave me alone!" I groaned.

Sasuke stopped, "Um..."

"Leave me alone to die!" I buried my face in the couch, "I'm not deserving of my followers!"

"What?" Sasuke asked, obviously getting confused, "followers? Why don't you deserve these 'followers'?"

I explained, but my face was in a pillow and I was whining so I'm sure he didn't even understand.

Sasuke just stood there staring at me, "... what?"

I flopped onto the floor, "Dead..."

**47.) Invite Karin over when he's asleep so she can 'Ravish' him. Bonus if he wakes up.**

I dialed Karin's cell phone number and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Karin, I'm Jaxx Nero the Neon Overlord, Sasuke's asleep right now and would love it if you came over to ravish him, be at Sasuke's house in five seconds, bye~" I said quickly and hung up.

**6 Seconds Later~**

Karin knocked on the door.

I opened it, "BAD KARIN, YOU'RE LATE! I SAID 5 SECONDS, YOU CAN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO BE ON TIME!" I yelled and whacked her over the head with a spatula.

Karin was incredibly confused and had no idea how she was supposed to respond.

I grabbed her arm and dragged her towards Sasuke bedroom, "Alright, in we go!" I said and opened the door.

Karin was about to say something, but I shoved her in and slammed the door.

Silence...

I pressed my ear against the door, listening, the only sound so far was pretty muffled so I couldn't really-

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" The miniature Itachi shouted.

I pressed my hand against my mouth to stop myself from laughing.

There was a great deal of creaking, banging, and crashing of things, then the door flew open (hitting your favourite overlord in the face T-T) and Sasuke ran out cursing.

"Owwy..." I said rubbing my head.

Karin walked out and looked at me, "I think you were wrong..."

"Shut up!"

**48.) Steal all his cloths, then hide them in Sakura's closet.**

I was casually playing with Sasuke's things in his bedroom when I got bored- SHOCKING- and opened up his closet, "Hmm..." I examined his clothes, "what shall I do with this..?" I thought for a very long time- or five minutes maybe- then shrugged and shoved them all into a garbage bag and escaped out of... the front door like a civilized person... bet you didn't see THAT coming!... or maybe you did... in that case... I'm sad...

I then became a super ninja... spy... thing... super something... and ran across roof tops- only tripping once- all the way to Sakura's house. Luckily for me, she was at training so I carefully slipped in through her _**PINK**_ window (her window is TOTALLY**_ PINK_**) and was in her bedroom, "Perfect~" I said to nobody (isn't that kind of pathetic?) and opened up her closet. I quickly stuffed the bag of Sasuke clothes in the back and ran away- but in an inconspicuous, secret agent way.

**LATER, WHEN SASUKE GOT HOME~**

Sasuke got back from training, all sweaty, he went to his bedroom, threw his clothes in the laundry hamper and stepped into his shower- like I said in chapter 6, if I really need to explain EXACTLY what he did, you REALLY need to go shower.

**15 MINUTES LATER~**

Sasuke got out of his shower wearing a... unfortunately not PINK towel and opened his closet, "What the hell..?" he exclaimed, "where the hell are my clothes..?" he dug around for a few minutes, but his clothes were nowhere to be found.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Sasuke picked up his phone, "Hello..?"

"Hey, Sasuke," Said Sakura, "Um... I was just cleaning out my closet and I think I have a bag of your clothes here..."

"Damn it! I didn't know she would do that!" I cursed from where I stalked outside of the window.

"Oh, I really need those!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Okay, I have them here, just come over and get them, bye!" Sakura said.

"No, wait-"

Sakura hung up.

Sasuke cursed, "How am I supposed to go get my clothes?"

I opened the window and jumped in, "I know!"

Sasuke jumped and threw a kunai at my head, which hit me (why must he keep kunai-ing me?).

"Ow..." I sniffed, "meanie, fine! I won't give you clothes then!" I said and started climbing back out the window.

"Uh- Wait!" Sasuke said, "I'm... sorry... now, you have some of my clothes?!"

"Well, sorta..." I said and pulled the frilly **_PINK_** dress from chapter 6 out of my backpack (man I'm all about the Chapter 6 references today).

**49.) Mail him Doujinishi's of Him and Naruto.**

Sasuke opened his mail box and pulled out one package with no return address,_ 'Hmm... probably Nero...'_ he thought glumly. (Yay at least **_HE_** doesn't forget me!)

He walked into his living room and opened it, the only thing inside was a manga book, on the cover was him and Naruto... kissing... he immediately threw the book in the garbage, "Haha very funny, Nero!" he spat and continued on with his day.

**THE NEXT DAY~**

Sasuke opened his mail box again and once again, there was a little package, "Again..?" he sighed and opened it, taking one look at the cover and burning the book, "NERO, I HATE YOU!"

I sat in a near by tree with the **_PINK_** binoculars from whatever chapter they're from, "Aw man! Why would you burn my doujinshi! T-T"

**50.) Tell him that his life is nothing but a creation from someone's imagination.**

I stood over Sasuke, who was doing quite a good of ignoring me, but failed when I started to poke him in the neck and saying, "Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king, Emo-king," over and over and over in his ear.

"What?!" he snapped, turning around.

I sat down in that giant desk chair and pulled out a random clipboard, "Now, Mr. Uchiha-" I was then reminded that I hated saying 'Mr. Uchiha'- "I think its time we talked..."

Sasuke gave me an odd look, "Uh... about..?"

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Sasuke, you need to accept that your life and everyone in it... are nothing more then a creation of some old mangaka's in order to keep him from robbing banks for money..." I said, in a very weird old-lady-therapist voice.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, suuuure, Nero," he said and turned away.

"Its true!" I argued in annoyance.

"Prove it!" Sasuke said, smugly.

I pulled out three different volumes of Naruto from my backpack, "See? Its a manga series! I have books in English, French, and Japanese!" I waved the books around.

Sasuke almost choked then gave a shake of his head, "Th-those are just like the books you sent me last week!"

I opened book 1, "Look! Here's when you and Naruto kissed!" I showed him.

"Erm... well..."

"And here's when Kakashi came in, and this is Naruto 'kidnapping' you, and this is-" I started listing.

"SHUT UP! I'M NOT LISTENING!" Sasuke cried and ran out of the room.

* * *

**WOW! I'M AT CHAPTER 10! (Double digits!) THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING!**

**Erm... you probably noticed that I didn't update for a looooooong time... well I have no excuse... I only updated now because I was worried someone would come assassinate me soon if I didn't... hehe...**

**and just to clear it up YES I'M A BOY**

**(p.s. maybe the reason I kept making Chapter 6 references is because I wrote this chapter over an exported file of Chapter 6 XD)**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


	11. Chapter 11: Ways 51-55

**51.) Tell him he has a Pokémon ball on his back.**

I was sitting on a bench beside... NARUTO! (betcha didn't see THAT coming! and if you did... I'll shut up now...) Just chilling and eating ramen- because Ramen is like teh best thing EVA along with Pocky... and Ramune... and Chinese instant milk tea...- when suddenly, the Miniature Itachi (oh yeah! I'm bringing it back!) who calls himself "SASUKE" happened to walk by... and didn't notice me, which is totally a crime and stuff.

I got up and started chasing him, leaving a very confused Uzumaki in my wake, "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEE-CHAA AAAAAAAN!" I shrieked and jumped on him.

"Nero, get off!" Sasuke yelled at me- he probably knows by now that I won't get off, but I can't blame him for trying.

"How dare you not notice me!" I was about to go into a long in depth rant about how I'm so awesome that he should notice me from a mile away and everything, when something suddenly dawned on me, "Hey, Uchiha..."

"..." Sasuke sighed, "What is it?"

"YOU'VE GOT A POKEBALL ON YOUR BACK, BROSKI!"

**52.) Yell to him: "You're the Pokémon Master!"**

"What?!" Sasuke gave me a look like I was crazy- I get this look alot-, "I don't have a-"

"HOLY CRAP! THAT TOTALLY MEANS YOU'RE THE FREAKING POKEMON MASTER!" I yelled, excitedly- even though I don't really even like Pokemon- and jumped up and down like an overly happy schoolgirl- Hex does that sometimes, I'm trying to decode why...-, "HEY! SASUKE'S THE POKEMON MASTER! SASUKE! SHOW EVERYONE YOUR PIKACHU! SASUKE'S THE- MRPH!

Sasuke tackled me, "Shut up already!"

**53.) Tell him Itachi revived the Uchiha clan with you.**

I was sitting on the back of Sasuke's couch, watching Sasuke work diligently on the computer- or whatever he was doing, I may have looked like I was watching him, but my brain was really just taking a vacation or something like that- when suddenly, my nerves system decided to hate me and cause me to fall on top of said Sasuke.

Sasuke harshly pushed me off, without looking up from the computer- which really annoyed me.

I poked him very hard in the arm.

Sasuke swatted me away, still working on the computer.

I pouted and leaned against him, banging my head against his.

"Stop, Nero," he said, pushing me away again.

I got fed up with him not paying any attention to me ("wow that didn't sound at all like a jealous girlfriend -_-..." says Hex, "STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER!" says me), "Hey, Sasuke-kun, guess what!" I announced, trying to sound casual, but since I just had sugar, I probably didn't.

"What is it?" he asked in disinterest.

"... Itachi-chan revived the Uchiha clan with me, you know!"

He gave me a weird and disgusted look- finally looking away from the horrible computer of evil- "HOW THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN WORK!? ARE YOU A FREAKING WOMAN*?!-" he stopped, "Wait... you're kidding... you ARE kidding right?!"

**54.) Tell him you were kidding, But he really did with Karin.**

"Of course I'm kidding! Silly Mini Ita!" I pretended to laugh at him, "of course he didn't revive the Uchiha clan with me!"

Sasuke relaxed a little and almost turned back to his computer- but he's not allowed to do that now!

"Because he revived it with Karin! Everyone knows that!~"

"WHAT?!" Sasuke choked.

"Oh yeah! It was all-" I went on explaining every little tiny detail- or making up every little tiny detail...- until Sasuke fainted in disgust, "Sasuke?" I poked him in the face, "..." I poked him a few more times and shoved him in a garbage bag, before running out the door.

_**5 MINUTES LATER~**_

I burst through the doors of the Sasuke Uchiha Fanclub meeting- man these girls are pretty much always having a meeting!- and dumped Sasuke out of the bag and onto the floor, "I'M AUCTIONING OFF SASUKE FOR THE NIGHT! ANY TAKERS?!" to which 30 hormonal teenage girls crowded around in 0.5 seconds and started screaming.

And thus we all know not to auction off anime characters to their fans.

#Ouch.

**55.) Mess with his computer and leave open as many SasuNaru fanfics/pictures/ect. as you can find. Also, save them in random locations on his computer so that he continually finds them after he thinks he's deleted them all. Bonus points if Naruto finds them.**

I was playing with Sasuke's computer, reading fanfictions in utter boredom when I had an amazing idea!- as to be expected of me- I started looking for all the SasuNaru fan art and fics I could find and saved them in the computer, then a few others in his favourites.

After that I was thinking of other things I could do, so I hacked- or made Hex hack- Sasuke's facebook and changed his profile picture to a lovely picture of him and Naruto macking.

After a good 3 hours of randomly fucking with the Uchiha, I heard the front door open and hightailed out of the building.

**AT SOME POINT THE FOLLOWING DAY~**

Sasuke was on his computer, when he came across something strange in his favourites, a "fanart"- as he'd discovered they were called- of him and Naruto doing... things. He deleted it, "... NERO!" he growled and scrolled through his favourites, deleting every trace of SasuNaru-ness from it.

_Ding-freaking-dong!_

Sasuke got up to answer the door, to find Naruto.

"Hey, Sasuke, can I borrow your computer?!" Naruto asked.

"..." Sasuke sighed, "Fine," he went back to his room, unplugged his laptop, and came back, "but make sure you don't break it! And have it back by tomorrow! And-"

By then Naruto wasn't even listening and just went home... where he found the rest of the hidden fanart.

* * *

**I'm ashamed to show my face in this author's note, man, I'M SO SORRY! I HAVE WRITERS' BLOCK AND THIS WAS THE BEST I COULD DO THIS TIME AROUND! T-T Please don't hate me, I don't deserve my 2'895 views! *hides under blanket***

**Hex: *throws shoe at me* Stop it, get on with your freaking note!**

**Oh, by the way, THIS IS HEX! *drags her over* thank her for making me get off my ass and writing this, since I mentioned her so much, she's making me involve her in the note!**

**Hex: Hey, readers of Jaxx's stuff!**

**Anyways, I'm sorry I haven't updated recently and probably won't update again very soon! *bows* Thank you for reading!**

**Thanks,**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**

***I misspelled that 3 times while trying to write it...**


	12. Chapter 12: Ways 56-60

**56.) Say that Orochimaru wants his body for 'other' needs.**

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" I sat at Sasuke's window, endlessly tapping the glass.

The Emo King rolled his eyes and opened the window, "Hello, Nero, what do you want this time?" his voice was completely emotionless- this was becoming kind of like a routine nowadays.

I saluted him and climbed through the window partially, sitting on the sill, "What's up, Mini Itachi?" I asked popping a piece of **_PINK_** bubble gum into my mouth.

"The same thing that was up when you asked me an hour ago..." he responded.

"..." this was going to be really boring unless thought of something fun to do to him (You had a pervy thought didn't ya, you little pervert!), "SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I exclaimed, because that's the best way to begin a conversation, "I was talking to Orochimaru-san just before I came over!"

"What a shame, even Orochimaru doesn't end you..." (semi inside joke) Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!" I buried my head in my hands and started fake crying, "SASUKE, WHY WOULD YOU BE SO CRUEL!"

"Alright fine! Sorry! Is that all?!" he asked in annoyance.

"No actually!" I snapped back to normal, "I learned something of interest!"

"Oh joy..."

"Shut up!- ANYWAYS!" I inhaled, "I was speaking with Orochimaru-san and he said that... fufufufu... he said that he requires your body for-" I put my face really close to Sasuke's and smirked, "_other_ purposes~"

**57.) Say that Orochimaru is going to be sneaking in his room tonight.**

"Wh-what?"

I tapped my head pretending to be confused and innocent, "Yep, I wonder what her could have meant..."

"Don't play stupid, Nero, I know exactly what you're trying-"

I crossed my legs and cocked my head to the side, "What other purposes could he possibly need your body for, Sasu-chan, do you know?"

"You're not fooling anyone-" he started.

"Maybe it has something to do with his plan to sneak into you're bedroom tonight!"

And Sasuke then died.

**58.) Come to his house at 3:00 a.m. in the morning and ask him if he can make ramen for you.**

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Sasuke awoke to a loud banging on his front door, he looked over at the clock next to his bed, "Ugh! What could someone want at 3:00am?" he sat up and rubbed his eyes, "someone better be dead or dying..." he got up and walked out of his room towards the front door.

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"I'm coming! Calm down!" he called and pulled the door open.

"Morning, Sasuke!" I jumped up, waving a **_PINK_** kunai in the air (custom made, yer all jelly~).

"..." Sasuke went to slam the door, but I jammed my foot in between the door.

"Don't close the door on me! Meanie!" I complained.

Sasuke groaned, "What do you want, Nero?"

"Can you make ramen for me?" I asked casually.

"... it's 3am!"

"So it is~"

"I want to go back to sleep!"

"I want ramen!"

"No..!"

"Yes..!"

"No!"

"Yes~~~!"

"NO!"

"RAMEN!" I screamed and tackled him to the floor.

**59.) Hit his 'Treasure' and remark: "Now how are you going to revive your clan?"**

I was sitting in the middle of the woods, reading yaoi, because I'm normal like that. When by chance- not really- I happened to see Sasuke training alone.

I sat there watching him for a few minutes while he didn't notice me- which is, what, followers? If you answered unforgivable, you get this picture of Sasuke in the shower~- then I started walking towards him.

Sasuke finally noticed me when I was five feet behind him, "Hello, Nero..." he sighed, "and what do you want?"

I didn't reply, just stood there silently.

"... Nero?"

"..." still nothing on my end.

"Hello?"

I didn't even move.

"If you're just going to disrupt my training exercise, you can go!"

I still said nothing.

Sasuke was about to turn away, but I- being a totally skilled ninja- kicked him in the balls (this would be how you bring the Uchiha to his knees~).

"Ha! Now how are you going to revive your clan, Sasuke?!~"

**60.) Sell his boxers. [You'll be rich, Within the hour] Bonus, If he catches you.**

I was doing my normal thing- rifling through the Uchiha's closet- being bored, and playing with a **_PINK_ **pen I found on the sidewalk, "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH" I exclaimed to nobody, "I'M BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!" I pulled open one of Sasuke's drawers and low andbehold, it was his underwear drawer. Being the broke, cosplay wanting fujoshi I am, I saw my opportunity to make money.

I gathered all of his boxer's up into a bag and ran out the door.

_**10 MINUTES LATER~**_

This time, the Sasuke Uchiha fanclub was taking a field trip to the park, I ran into the middle of the mass of lonely hormonal teenage girls and waved the bag around in the air, "I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE, MY FELLOW NARUTO WATCHERS!" I announced loudly into a **_PINK_ **megaphone from out of nowhere, "I HAVE HERE IN MY HAND A BAG_ FULL_ OF SASUKE UCHIHA'S BOXERS! I'M WILLING TO GIVE THEM TO YOU ALL- _for $1000 a piece_!"

The crowd immediately began doing what they always do when I sell them Sasuke's stuff, crowding around and pulling and squeeling and making puppies everywhere cry.

**_1 HOUR LATER~_**

I had run out of boxers, the fanclub had gone back home, and I had a wad of cash big enough to buy out every cosplay on cosplayfu .com in my hand, "Yes!~ Who knew Sasuke had a goldmine just in his underwear!"

"So that's where all my boxers went!"

Gulp. Fuck.

"Hiya, Sasuke!~" I said turning around and hiding the cash behind my back, "what's up?"

(CENSORED FOR VIOLENCE)

And then I woke up in the hospital.

* * *

**I know I said I'd only update at 55 reviews but FUCK THAT! I love reviews and nobody was reviewing so HERE REVIEW! **

**Hem hem... I'm okay now, this time I'm seriously not even beginning to update until I reach 55 reviews! You can call me a review whore all you like but I'll just either report you or delete the comment if you feel the need to tell me such, I already know it's kind sad how much I thrive on reviews.**

**So, Here's the update I'm not really sure what else to say.**

**JUST PLEASE REVIEW!**

**XxShota-FujoshixX**


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